When Clients Develop Feelings for their Practitioner

Falling in love with a platonic touch practitioner is not uncommon, and it can happen for various reasons. I remember quite clearly, early on in my career as a professional cuddler, a client yelling at me over the phone because I could not see him until the following week. He accused me of only being in it for the money, and not truly caring about him. This particular client had developed feelings for me and could not respectfully articulate them. The conversation ended with him hanging up on me.

The way he handled his emotions and fear was completely inappropriate and abusive. That said, it is quite common for clients to develop deep, emotional feelings toward their practitioners. You will find this with any care provider in the mental or medical field. However, given the complex emotional feelings that develop due to touch and human connection, it is more likely to happen with professional cuddlers.

Human touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of trust and connection, which can create a sense of intimacy between the client and practitioner. Additionally, touch can awaken buried emotions, leading the client to develop strong feelings for their practitioner. Sometimes bringing up abandonment trauma or other types of attachment issues.

Research has shown that positive touch can have a beneficial impact on mental and emotional well-being. A study published in the Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies found that touch was effective in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression in cancer patients. Another study published in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management found that touch improved quality of life and reduced symptoms of pain and anxiety in hospice patients. These findings demonstrate the power of touch in promoting healing and emotional well-being.

However, when a client falls in love with their touch practitioner, it can create a challenging situation. The practitioner must maintain professional boundaries while acknowledging the client's feelings and ensuring their emotional safety. The practitioner should not engage in any behavior that could be misinterpreted as romantic or sexual, as this can harm the client's emotional well-being.

It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with the client, acknowledging their feelings and reassuring them that platonic touch therapy is a professional service designed to promote emotional and physical well-being. The practitioner should emphasize that their role is to provide non-sexual touch and that any romantic or sexual behavior is inappropriate and outside the scope of their services.

I have found the best way to handle these situations is through vulnerable, and honest discussion of feelings, including any fears or concerns the client or practitioner may have. Creating a safe and nonjudgmental container for open discussion can help a client get clear on what their feeling.

In some cases, it may be necessary to refer the client to a mental health professional who can provide additional support and guidance. A therapist can help the client process their feelings and develop coping strategies to manage their emotions. A sex therapist can refer the client out to a surrogate partner therapist and work together in a triadic model. 

It's important to note that falling in love with a touch practitioner is not a reflection of the client's character or mental health. It's a natural human response to the power of touch, and it's essential to approach the situation with empathy and compassion.

Ultimately, falling in love with a touch practitioner as a professional cuddler can be a complex and challenging situation. It's essential to maintain professional boundaries while acknowledging the client's feelings and ensuring their emotional safety. Communication, honesty, and empathy are key to navigating this situation effectively. By working together, both the client and practitioner can continue to promote emotional and physical well-being through the power of touch.

Montagu, A. (1971). Touching: The human significance of the skin. Columbia University Press.

Billhult, A., Lindholm, C., Gunnarsson, R., & Stener-Victorin, E. (2009). The effect of massage on immune function and stress in women with breast cancer—A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies, 13(4), 297-303. doi: 10.1016/j.jbmt.2008.10.002

Keefe, F. J., Somers, T. J., Abernethy, A. P., & Paris, R. (2011). Coping with pain in the latter stages of life. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 41(4), 655-665. doi: 10.1016/j.jpainsymman.2010.06.016