Is Platonic Touch Therapy for You
What you should know about Platonic Touch Therapy
Has someone suggested that you try platonic touch therapy or hire a professional cuddler? Perhaps your therapist recommended it, or maybe someone in a Facebook group, or one of your friends.
Platonic Touch Therapy (PTT) can be an incredibly therapeutic healing modality; however, it is important to understand what it IS and what it IS NOT, and what you can expect from it.
Let’s start with professional cuddling, going back to 2015 when Samantha Hess, from Cuddle Up To Me, was on America’s Got Talent. She brought the idea of cuddling strangers for the sheer pleasure of touch, to the forefront of every home and gave viewers a reason to pause and consider “professional cuddling?”
Since then, professional cuddling has quickly grown in popularity among individuals who suffer from sadness, loneliness, anxiety, grief, and a slew of other issues that tend to bring less touch and connection to people’s lives.
Here, we will discuss some considerations you should keep in mind when deciding if platonic touch or professional cuddling is the right healing modality for you.
What is the difference between Platonic Touch Therapy and Professional Cuddling?
What is the Platonic Touch Therapy used for?
Is Platonic Touch Therapy safe?
How do you determine if you should hire a practitioner?
How many sessions does Platonic Touch Therapy take to work?
What is the difference between Platonic Touch Therapy and Professional Cuddling?
In the simplest form, Professional Cuddling is when a cuddler is paid money to cuddle another person, usually a stranger. They will typically utilize different cuddle positions to elicit a certain desired feeling. For example, most people are familiar with the spooning position and is typically a fan favorite. A professional cuddler may suggest or the client may suggest the spooning position to physically feel full-body contact or feel as if they are nurturing or protecting another person. Some cuddlers will utilize eye-gazing to deepen the connection with their clients and get to know you chit-chat.
Unfortunately, a vast majority of cuddlers are not trained or certified and thus lack the ability to discuss the major concepts of professional cuddling: boundaries, consent, active listening, holding space, honest communication. I have heard many regrettable stories from clients and cuddlers of sessions going awry due to a lack of understanding and discussion of all four concepts.
Platonic Touch Therapy is a term that I coined back in 2019 while I was researching, networking, and marketing professional cuddling. Although I had been cuddling professionally since 2016, I knew the title “professional cuddler” did not feel right as it did not encompass what I was doing. I quickly realized; the word cuddle did not feel comfortable for other people as well. Through discussions with psychotherapists, other referral partners, and potential clients, the word “cuddle” was stopping people from scheduling sessions AND therapists and psychiatrists from referring me to their patients. As I was not attached to the word “cuddle” I changed it to a more palatable word that people could accept AND potentially see themselves engaging in as a healing modality.
Platonic Touch Therapy incorporates professional cuddling as well as other forms of non-sexual, two-way, positive touch. Only after discussion and confirmation of the five concepts I listed above, in session we may engage in partner yoga, sharing stories, human connection rehabilitation (i.e. learning to trust again), meditation, eye gazing, handhold, going for a walk, hair stroking, breathwork, back rubs, exploring touch, self-soothing touch, ASMR and polyvagal movement, to name a few.
What is Platonic Touch Therapy used for?
Platonic Touch Therapy is most commonly used to treat self-esteem issues, loneliness, touch phobias caused by trauma, and many different types of emotional distress. It is definitely growing in popularity and, my client say that it relieves stress and anxiety better than many other treatments.
Platonic Touch Therapy is like many other touch therapies in the sense that it allows the body to heal in the most natural way possible. When people take part in positive, two-way touch, there is a release of neurotransmitters oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, and a decrease of cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine.
People utilize Platonic Touch Therapy to treat these physical and emotional issues:
relieve anxiety and stress
open up emotionally through touch
improve symptoms of depression
feels seen and heard
feel physical touch
help wounds heal faster
boost social skills
improve immune system function
reduce pain
improve chronic health conditions
decrease aggression
boost relaxation
improve self-esteem and self-worth
reduce PTSD, C-PTSD, PTSI
improved sleep
In my practice, the greatest number of clients report feeling more relaxed and less stressed, and anxious throughout their day. These effects can be long-lasting for days and weeks. With the help of focusing on specific sensations during the session, it is possible to experience the positive effects even once the session is over.
Is Platonic Touch Therapy safe?
In my opinion, an enthusiastic YES! Platonic Touch Therapy is completely safe and I personally receive referrals from professionals in the mental health field that understand the importance of touch and know I am a safe, professional, and ethical practitioner.
With that said, it is important to know that with any type of physical or emotional treatment, there could be side effects. When people are sharing or even working through painful memories or experiences, they could very well encounter discomfort during treatment and even days later.
However, it should not feel overwhelming or re-traumatizing. The therapy is touch-based, and if vulnerable emotions come up that you are not ready to unpack, it is important that you talk with your practitioner about it. I always remind clients that they “never have to do anything.” What I mean by that is they never have to touch, and they never have to talk or share.
Due to the nature of touch and, that it evokes feelings of safety and trust, people may share things they have never shared with anyone. People may recall memories they have not remembered in many years. Be sure to discuss with your practitioner any concerns you may have about specific topics.
If you have a history of trauma, it is important you verify your practitioner is trauma-informed and potentially certified. You can read How to Find the Right Platonic Touch Practitioner for You in my blog for more information.
There is also concern about the oxytocin drop. It has been reported by other practitioners and clients that after a long session of giving and receiving touch, sometimes people might feel sad. It seems most prevalent with people who do not get any touch in their personal lives from family or friends or a partner.
If this happens, I suggest engaging in some kind of self-care. Preferably an activity that makes you feel good as you prep for it, while you are actively doing it, and once you are done with it. For me, baking chocolate is a go-to. I enjoy the entire process from start to finish. Also, hitting the pavement for a quick run. Again, from tying my shoes, to mile 2, and stretching afterward.
How do you determine if you should hire a practitioner?
First things first, understand why you want to engage in Platonic Touch Therapy. Is it to feel close to someone? Is it to work or specific issues? Or, is it to feel sensual or sexual touch?
Something that Professional Cuddlers will often ask clients is, “Are you settling for cuddles when you really want sex?” This is a question that many people who hire bodywork or touch therapists should ask themselves. Unfortunately, practitioners and therapists are often propositioned for sexual touch. Some people believe if they just offer enough money to a massage therapist, reiki practitioner, acupuncturist, or any type of energy worker, they will get it. This is a misconception that has to stop.
If these statements sound familiar or resonate with you, then perhaps you should schedule a session.
I want to open up emotionally through touch.
I need someone to just listen to me.
I’m struggling with loneliness and low self-worth.
I miss being held, hugged, soothed.
I cannot sleep and wake up throughout the night.
Something is missing in my life and I don’t know what?
I feel empty inside.
I want to cry.
How many sessions does Platonic Touch Therapy take to work?
Mental health is not a one size fits all kind of deal. Healing and self-realization, accessing deep emotions, and learning to trust, are different for everyone. However, I can confidently say, for the vast majority of people, it typically takes one session to feel loving acceptance, calm, and relaxation.
The reason it works so quickly for many is that we are hardwired for social interaction, and our brain rewards us when we engage in positive touch by releasing those feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. When oxytocin is released, it helps to create social bonds and encourages trust and feelings of safety.
If you have never experienced talk therapy or massage therapy, and this is your first time feeling intimate (remember, non-sexual intimacy) or vulnerable, then it may take a little longer to feel relaxed and calm enough to enjoy the shared touch and human connection.
My general rule of thumb is that it could take at least 2-3 sessions to feel the effects of this incredibly unique therapy.
To assist in this process, I try to create rapport, educate and set expectations early on and throughout the session by doing these things:
Video Consultation – We meet face-to-face to get to know each other. By utilizing the connecting force of eye contact, seeing mannerisms, and open, non-judgmental discussion from the start, we begin the process of building trust.
The Five Concepts: Next comes preparation for trust in session by reviewing the two types of boundaries, the two models of consent, deep listening, holding space, and communication. Without you understanding these concepts, there is the potential for misunderstandings and a lack of communication.
Setting your intentions for the session: What are your goals or hopes for the session? In the most perfect world, how would you like to feel after the session? Are there any reassurances you need?
Regular check-ins: It is important to check in regularly with you to see how you are feeling physically, emotionally, mentally and if there need to be any adjustments.
Waking: When there is about 5 minutes left in the session, I will start the waking period and ask you if you want to share anything that came up and mention the oxytocin drop. If there was a lot of talking, we will take a few minutes of quiet silence to calm the nervous system, when appropriate.
Ask your health provider before scheduling a session.
If you are unsure if Platonic Touch Therapy is right for you, talk to a health professional to determine if it can help you. Ask your therapist, doctor, acupuncturist, or chiropractor might be helpful in exploring this treatment option.
You can also go to cuddlist.com, cuddlesanctuary.com, or reach out to me for referrals of skilled, certified practitioners near you.
If you do not think you are ready just yet to get hands-on with a practitioner, then I would like to suggest some books to read about the mind-body connection, touch, and human connection.
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain Mind & Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
The Art of Receiving & Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin
Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
Am I Normal If…? By Susan Kaye (release later this year)
I provide Platonic Touch Therapy, Human Connection, Neuro-Linguistic Programming in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area, Southern VA, NYC, and Boston, MA, and online through virtual Zoom sessions.
