Are You Ready to Touch

I would like to invite you to do a visualization with me. Close your eyes and take a deep, long, slow inhale through your nose, hold for 3 seconds, and breathe out through your nose. Relax. Let’s do one more of those. Breath in…..hold 3….breath out….relax.

Keep your eyes closed, and imagine walking into an office. There is a person standing there that you do not know, waiting for you. As you walk towards them, they are walking towards you with arms open ready to hug you. You are now getting closer, and closer, and closer, until they have you in an embrace holding you tight. As you hold them, you squeeze.

Now, notice how you feel. Was there any anxiety within you as you walked toward them? Was there any fear as they walked towards you? Were you concerned about how you might make them feel? Were you concerned about how they were going to make you feel? Did you wonder if you were safe? Did you feel a knot develop in your chest, stomach, or throat? Are your palms get sweaty? Do you want to release from the embrace? Are they holding you too tight?

If visualization is a tool you utilize, this is a great exercise to gain an understanding of how ready you might be to engage in touch with others. There have been many people who schedule Platonic Touch Sessions (PTS) with me, however, when it comes time to touch, they freeze or quickly pull away as it becomes too intense.

I always remind people that they never have to touch if they do not want to, but sometimes we do not know if touch is going to be too much. We do not know if it will be overwhelming or too intense until our nervous system goes on high alert and our heart is beating out of our chest.

Fortunately, it is my job to watch for the signs that might indicate a client is not ready to engage in full-body touch or touch at all. It could be their body language, their eye movement, or even their lack of communication in describing how they are feeling or how they would like to proceed.

It is important to try to be mindful of what your body is telling you before it goes on high alert. Sometimes I do not know I am uncomfortable with something until I do it. However, I am also very comfortable changing my mind without feeling guilt. I listen to my body and my feelings and change the situation accordingly.

If you are engaging in touch and realize your nervous system is on high alert or it no longer feels pleasurable, change the situation, remove touch from the equation, and do not just push through. Only engage when you are ready.