What Is Bidirectional Therapeutic Touch
When most people think of therapeutic touch, they picture something being done to them such as a massage, a reiki session, or a comforting hand on the shoulder. It’s passive. One-way. While receiving care is powerful, something deeper happens when we introduce mutuality into the equation.
Bidirectional therapeutic touch is exactly what it sounds like: touch that flows both ways. In this approach, both people consent, are engaged, present in the moment. It’s not about fixing someone. It’s about being with someone. The healing comes not just from being held, but from holding and being seen as a whole human being, capable of giving as much as receiving.
Allow me to share a story.
A few months ago, I worked with a client, let's call him David. David came in feeling raw and disconnected. He’d recently gone through a divorce and hadn’t been touched in over a year. During our intake, he said, “I feel like I’m shrinking. Like my body doesn’t even know how to be close to someone anymore.”
In our early sessions, David wanted to be held, he needed to receive and we honored that need. However, over time, he began asking, “Can I hold you too?” Well, that inconspicuous question shifted everything. When he placed his hand gently on my back, fully present, he teared up.
The power of mutual touch invites us into relationships with others and with ourselves. It restores dignity. It helps us practice boundaries, express care, and reconnect with parts of us that have gone quiet.
With the clinicalization of many healing spaces, they forget that people, especially men, trauma survivors, and those living with shame, aren’t just looking for care. They’re longing to be reminded they can give care, and that their touch is wanted, welcome, and safe.
Would I go so far as to say bidirectional therapeutic touch is a consent-centered revolution. Yes, yes I would. It’s a way to challenge old scripts that say we have to earn love, that we’re only safe when we’re passive, that touch is something dangerous or transactional.
It’s slow, intentional, and deeply human. Our current client of loneliness and disconnection, mutual presence is incredibly healing.
If this resonates, stay close. In Part 2, I’ll share why touch deprivation is a silent epidemic and how we can ethically meet that need with care.
