Unraveling the Mysteries of Touch Through Visualization & Sensation
I would like to invite you to do a visualization with me. Close your eyes and take three, deep, long, slow inhales through your nose, hold for 3 seconds, and breathe out through your nose. Relax. Let’s do one more of those. Relax.
Keep your eyes closed, and imagine walking into an office. There is a person standing there that you do not know, waiting for you? As you walk towards them, they are walking towards you with arms open ready to hug you. You are now getting closer, and closer, and yet even closer, until they have you in an embrace and you both are equally holding each other tightly. Now squeeze.
Take a moment to notice how you feel. Was there any anxiety walking toward them? Was there any fear as they walked towards you? Were you concerned about how you might make them feel? Were you concerned about how they were going to make you feel? Did you wonder if you were safe? Did you feel a knot develop in your chest, stomach, or throat? Are your palms get sweaty? Do you want them to release you from the embrace? Are they holding you too tight?
Continue to pay attention to your own reactions as you journey deeper into the visualization. Are there subtle signs of discomfort appearing on your skin, goosebumps perhaps? Or a slight shift in your posture? Is there a sensation of your heart rate increasing or a change in the pace of your breath? These are all signals from your body telling you about your comfort levels with touch. Just as you listen to your body when it tells you that you're tired or hungry, so too should you pay attention to these more subtle messages about touch.
If visualization is a tool you utilize, this is a great exercise to gain an understanding of how ready you might be to engage in touch with other people. There have been many people who schedule Platonic Touch Sessions (PTS) with me, however, when it comes time to touch, they freeze or quickly pull away.
I try to remind people that they never have to touch if they do not want to, but sometimes we do not know if touch is going to be too intense of an experience. We do not know if it will be overwhelming or triggering until our nervous system goes into high alert.
Fortunately, it is my job to watch for the signs that might indicate a client is not ready to engage in full-body touch or touch at all. It could be their body language, their eye movement, or even their lack of communication in describing how they are feeling or how they would like to proceed.
In those situations, I err on the side of caution and encourage clients to slow down and continue with conversation or perhaps try something like polyvagal movement. Polyvagal movement involves activities that stimulate the vagus nerve, promoting relaxation and a sense of safety, according to the Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges. It can be an effective method for those finding touch overwhelming, helping to soothe the nervous system and enhancing the experience of Platonic Touch Sessions.
Touch is a beautiful thing - a fundamental human interaction. It can communicate so much, from joy, comfort, and love, to fear, anger, and discomfort. Many people are surprised to realize how much information they can gain about themselves through simple, platonic touch. It can reveal hidden aspects of ourselves, from how we relate to others to how we handle vulnerability.
If you're someone who feels uncomfortable with touch or finds the concept of a PTS intriguing, I would recommend you try this visualization exercise. Do it daily, taking note of your feelings and reactions each time. Pay attention to any shifts in your comfort levels or feelings towards touch. Is it getting easier? Or perhaps more challenging?
These exercises are not just about preparing for a PTS. They are about understanding your relationship with touch, and possibly learning something new about yourself in the process. It's about exploring boundaries, finding comfort in vulnerability, and connecting with others in a way that respects and honors your own boundaries.
There's no rush in this journey. Touch is something that should never be rushed or forced. It's about finding your own pace and allowing yourself to grow in your own time. It's a beautiful journey of self-discovery, and I'm privileged to walk that path with many of my clients.
If you are curious, and when you're ready, we can talk about scheduling your own PTS. Until then, continue with your visualization exercises and remember to listen to your body. It has a wisdom all its own.
