Kids Leaving Got You Sad?

It’s a story we hear all the time. Parents counting down the days until their kids go back to school, finally getting some peace. It’s funny, it’s trendy, and it’s everywhere online. But what about the other side of the story?

Last week, I had a client reach out for a consultation. Their child was heading back to college, and as a single parent, they were preparing for the loneliness that always followed. The client told me their child is incredibly affectionate—someone who loves hugs, snuggles, and spending time together. For them, the child’s departure felt like a loss of connection and intimacy, and they were looking for ways to cope with that void.

This conversation stayed with me, especially as a parent myself. My three kids are still at home, but I know the feeling of missing them when they go to their dad’s house for a few days. It’s a deep sense of sadness that’s hard to put into words.

What struck me most was how rarely I see parents share these feelings publicly. So much of what I hear online is about parents jokingly celebrating their newfound freedom when their kids leave. And sure, that might be true for some—but what about the parents who feel the weight of their absence?

Why Don’t Parents Share These Feelings?

I think it’s partly embarrassment. Admitting that you miss your child might feel like you’re clinging too tightly or that you’re out of step with the “cool” parents who are ready for their kids to leave. Maybe it’s fear of judgment or ridicule, or maybe it’s just not knowing how to put those feelings into words.

But here’s the thing: those feelings are valid. They’re real. And they’re okay.

Touch Is a Language of Connection

Touch is our first sense to develop in the womb, and it remains one of the most powerful ways we connect with others (Hertenstein, 2011). It’s how a newborn knows they’re safe and loved, and it’s how we continue to feel accepted as part of a group.

For this parent, the deep sadness they felt came from missing that affectionate connection with their child. It’s not just about the hugs or snuggles—it’s about the bond, the emotional intimacy, the time spent together.

Acknowledging the Feelings

The first step to navigating these emotions is acknowledging them. Don’t push them down or feel embarrassed for feeling sad. You’re not alone in this.

It’s okay to share your feelings with your child, too—letting them know you’ll miss them shows them that these emotions are normal and healthy. At the same time, it’s important not to place the burden of your emotional well-being on their shoulders. They shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving or pressured to be your emotional support system.

Finding Connection in New Ways

If possible, find ways to maintain your connection, like setting up regular text check-ins, video calls, or even sending care packages. Let them know you’d love to hear from them, but respect their boundaries if they’re busy or can’t talk.

For yourself, consider activities that can help fill the emotional void—journaling, joining a local class, connecting with friends, or volunteering in your community. Building new connections and routines can help ease the loneliness while giving you something to look forward to.

Let’s Talk About It

The comments I received in a Facebook group after sharing this story showed me just how common these feelings are. Parents opened up about missing their kids, about how they’ve found ways to cope, and about the love they feel even in the absence.

You’re not alone in this. Missing your child doesn’t make you clingy or overbearing—it makes you human. So let’s start talking about it, sharing our stories, and finding comfort in knowing that these emotions are shared by so many.

How do you handle the transition when your child leaves? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or messages.